twitter breakup…

no no no.. this post is not about someone breaking up over twitter.. as much ridiculous (and funny for a 3^rd person) as it would be.. it would go like this, i presume..

you have got a personal message

‘needed to tweet… breaking up.. now… with you.. it’s not you, it’s me..(blah blah) gtg.. see u around..’

‘moron’ is not following you anymore, on twitter…

i am not a heavy tweeter.. and hence i cannot speak in first person here.. but not to worry, i have the liberty of identity spoofing and take the privilege..

this post is about someone who has twittered a lot n lot n lot… n one day suddenly realizes that, he/she is tweeting first and then doing the things.. self-privacy and private space have been killed and buried.. and then the time comes to let go of twitter..

from, ‘all that twitters is gold’, to ‘all that twitters is not gold’..

here goes my ridiculous piece of breakup words, between he/she and twitter.. if twitter could talk back, that would be in (italic parentheses)..

‘twitter.. we need to tweet.. this is john/jane doe.. i have given it a great deal of words.. i have tried the web, gadget, phone.. i don’t think it’s working out between us.. i think we need to end this..

listen, i know this must be so hard for you.. you are great.. you are smart, chirpy, fast, broadcasting, accessible, far-reaching, outspreading, like a pile of n all those..

but it’s not the same twittering feeling.. before you met me, i never thought i would be in any relationship with social networking.. maybe i was naïve.. and then you happened.. so different from orkut, facebook and myspace.. i could sense the attraction.. you were there in everything i did.. i got up, u knew.. i brushed my teeth.. u knew (and millions of other people).. i tripped and broke my nose.. u knew.. it was like, nothing could go wrong.. the web seemed an alright place..

we had some really great times.. remember when my boss was firing me, i was tweeting real-time… not to mention the reason for my expulsion, being the PII data being twittered..

and the time when my SSN came, and i told you, only to be ripped off a few grands due to an identity theft.. you have some really keen quick-acting criminal and dacoit followers too..

and the time when i was held as a witness in a safe house.. one tweet and never mind…

and all those times, when no one wanted to know, what i was doing.. yet you were there for me, to ensure i pissed off everyone by still tweeting about the things i did..

you have been through all those great rough times.. which wouldn’t have happened without you..

but now, things are different.. i don’t feel it anymore.. i tried the web but i get stuck.. i tried the gadgets.. but they are turning sophisticated.. i tried texting… but it Seems Mostly Sad..

initially you used to be frustrated at seeing me.. now you are frustrated and disgusted too.. not to mention, that you take me for granted that i’ll tweet everything.... and what’s more, random people follow me on you, and send me personalized hate-tweets.. hence it’s time.. i cannot believe that we are actually breaking up.. i always thought these things happened to other people.. but every dog has.. never mind.. it’s over..

and what do they say.. yeah.. we can still be friends.. i will tweet the occasional ridiculous thing i’ll do.. hang on, that’s what i used to do.. so i don’t know what to tweet.. i guess, i'll just get back to my life, after all..’

anyways, at least i’ll have an illusion now that i have seen life, and seen both sides of it.. and there’s the grandeur feeling of a philosophical guru on such issues, henceforth.. and the fact that my second relationship will be an even more foolish one, based on the premise that i’ll be wiser at future relationships..

and please remember one thing, the george line… it’s not you, it’s me! it’s always me!

to which twitter said,

'(never mind that i heard, blah blah.. but i am sorry, who are you again? do i know you?

best wishes, gth. - twitter)’

there’s never a better breakup.. it’s always a bitter breakup.. but don’t worry.. this is just a twitter breakup… for the fun and forgetfulness of a post.... not kidding!