the forgetting

the rains were slashing very very hard today.. i was driving on the freeway with my friend, and it was a magical (not to mention very scary) experience, to wade through the waters. It was like an ocean pouring at 70 mph with blinding light..

I had never driven before with so much rain. scintillating.. couple of hours.. but somehow, this reminded me of the million moments we have in life (scintillating and the awful ones).. some we desire to etch, but fade.. some we decide to rinse, but stay engraved.. today was one such enthralling moment..

this is where my jumbled brain doesn't let go of the moments.. it will immediately apply a ridiculous epiphany to the experience.. I tried to hold it back a lot, but couldn’t… so here goes what it thinks..

“i love the fact that we are capable of forgetting the most mesmerizing things, remembering the most trivial ones and never ever it strikes us that we have forgotten some of our best moments or worst nightmares..

ironically, when you are right in the moment of the experience, there is nothing beyond that mist that you can see. sometimes you try to see from outside the frame, but there’s only as much you can scoop as much in the pan.. you try to think what it means as a whole..

nevertheless I like the forgetting.. i especially like the fading of all these moments.. no matter how many smiles, thoughts and tears these moments hold within them, they all fade eventually… for good or bad, I have no idea..”

the broken crystals come together invisible;

for a moment, it seems like a new beginning.

first loss of the mother’s fingers, the homesick fear;

first of feelings, when you don’t belong anywhere;

first thought, walking behind your brother alone;

first jitter, when home seems a long way far n gone.

then a comfort, when the world seems to fit in;

and the kids’ mocking laughter turns friendly;

then those songs take you back the avenues;

the books, the shop, the fights, brimmed eyes.

then the stars, absorbing a million yearnings;

then a phase, carving a season of memoirs;

as they topple, only to give way to others;

then the glitches, always keeping me honest.

first affection, first love, first content, of many;

when the inner tries to hold on to these many;

i still look forward, no matter how much it burns;

for all these moments to freeze forever like ice.

then the crystals break, all moments lost in them;

I wonder when the crystals come together again.