fear and the surge

i am scared and nervous, on some days;

no no, not on most of the days;

though i feel it would be on most days;

a few good things, help make those days.

that leaves me with a few scary days;

the cowards never admit these scary days;

life behaves like a bad dog on these days;

even the strongs, act nervous on these days.

its not that i am strong or weak;

not even that i need support and all;

maybe not that i fear the loss of something;

its more often than not, a few of all these.

everybody has the same fears, i know typically;

yet like everybody, i feel i am the most dicey;

sleeping a little, delays the fears a little;

i know what things fix this, little by little.

as much as i fear the nerve-wracking thoughts;

as much as i am sad by the heart's quiet thoughts;

as much withered away by the erosion of resilience;

that much i am scared of those that solve my fears.

see, if my friend makes these fears go away;

see, if a sudden urge in me, makes these fears go away;

see, if the tears make these fears go away;

i fear that the friend, urge and the tears may go away.

there is the urge to fight, standing alone;

there is the urge to be the friend, and fight a fear;

there is an urge to keep quiet and pretend no fears;

as well to just droop and give up on the fears.

time passes by, and it shows ways of handling these fears;

they come and go, like seasons in phases, asking me;

no matter if i figure out an urge to win or lose these fears;

i fear the loss of that urge one day, rest with only the fears.

time passes, fears pass, urge passes, friends pass;

silence and resilience pass, helplessness and pretence pass;

then hope passes once in a while to hold on;

wonder when the string breaks, or just goes taut for a while.