a fear of fear

on the back of my mind, lurks a fear of a fear

i limelight it, and the breathing goes heavier;

it saps, saps and saps, all of my energy, i fear

also the pit in my stomach, i owe to the fear.

i climb on good moments, slid much on the fear

loose footing to feel the nausea, and darkness;

until a light shines briefly, diminished by the fear

back i topple, until there is a moment to lighten.

i am afraid to even think of the fear, fear of fear

as the world dims around me, i sink in the fear;

mere floating blurbs,  i’m left with just the fear,

drains me, i feel desolate alone, amidst the fear.

for its myth, not for its presence, pure evil is my fear

a constant reminder, of a probable, awaits my fear;

 helpless and alone, i feel no one who sees this fear

do i get on with it, get over it, or stay on this fear?

it’s not stupid, can’t talk me out of my fear of fear

it robs me of my good moments, i damn this fear;

for i wage with fear itself, and also the fear of fear

doesn’t stop, just dims, i move away from this fear.

on the back of my mind, lurks a fear of a fear.