Just Like That!

Friday, March 27, 2009

facets

innocent was a time, the first of the years,
the road of shyness, came along the way;
and I can think of a little sincerity though, 
but not too much of any humility wanders.

ignorance has a grip, all pervasive dizzy,
two struggles of greatness, flow forever;
and there are  moments, show me ‘lazy’,
complementing it is the intensity forever.

introspective at times, just one of those,
proactive at times, very laidback at times;
talk about one thing, it’s the blood rush,
and there is anger, as good as it sounds.

out of the frame, seeing the mind one day,
there are tears, which hurt a little like any;
pondering little, destiny has nothing to say,
prick me the fork of fears, not too many.

humor grips me, i am a slave to the smiles,
indifferent and stoic to some, not to sever;
work away myself, world is away for miles,
holding on to my solitude, my source ever.

stupidity and the hatred, my friends for thee,
so that my affection is not the better of you;
from different to ordinary to me, all you see,
like one of yours, is a choice and a facet of me.

till end is the quiet, quiet, quiet, smiling facet.

Monday, March 23, 2009

godspeed 2

continued from godspeed 1

..the next morning, I had got up a little earlier and hence, called up my Mom, before leaving the house. this meant, I could listen to some music on the bus, all through my journey. I like the last window seat, and there I was with the scenery and music. it was a cold morning.

beside me sat G, not really eager for any pleasantries. I didn’t give a shocking reaction on seeing G. I had read enough novels and seen television shows, where the shocking reaction is followed by a conversation like:

‘you!   You scared the crap out of me!’
‘didn’t mean to.’
‘but you did. I know you are not real. I’m hallucinating or this is something weird.’
‘I’m for real.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
‘whack! Now does it feel real?’
With hands on the paining cheek, ‘feels real! Who are you and why are you here?’

I didn’t want to warm my cheeks that way, on this cold morning. I needed to think something else.

“I know, but don’t do it. you are sure, but don’t involve her. we have a lot to talk about.” G said and waited.

i felt a jolt on these words. I was about to think of a simple strategy. here were my exact thoughts. 
“I know G is visible to me. I know I’m not crazy. I can just ask the girl ahead if she too can see G. that should put things in place. If I involve her, it’ll prove that I’m not crazy, I’m sure and this freak incident will make sense.”
I figured G could read my thoughts. But I hadn’t even started thinking about it. how could G answer before I thought of the question. Maybe a fluke, but now was the time when I freaked out.

so i asked the bull’s eye question, “who are you and why are you here?” G was looking at a poem on the bus. I had to repeat twice and get G’s interest. I think it (let me refer to G as it for the moment) was thinking, which was odd, since I thought of it as incapable of waiting to process anything, think and respond.

G said, “either I can tell you that and leave immediately, or I stay and you don’t ask me that question for some time, and we can talk. If it helps, I was the one who saved you at that improbable moment, which was not supposed to be that way.” 

I wondered, “is this some sort of an ultimatum from a lame stalker? What the hell is wrong around me?” I thought about the proposal for some time. 

since I am not a cat,  I hoped for good that my curiosity won’t kill me. basically, I opted for the “OR” part of the proposal. to be frank, deep within I was a little elated because, whatever was happening, seemed to be out of ordinary, and when life is ordinary for a long time, such moments arouse the devil in you. and the ridiculous number of super-hero flicks around, don’t seem to help.. especially when you know, you won’t be killed or something..

so I thought, let me have our first effective communication/conversation. although apart from “who are you, and why are you here”, I really don’t think I had any arsenal for interrogation. and talking about weather was hardly the intro you want to use at this time. finally I remembered G’s own words and began our conversation.

“what is it that you want to talk about?” I asked still suspicious of G.

G looked askew at me, as if to remind me that it had told me something to help me out. It had. But I didn’t understand, what it meant? When had G saved me, from what and why was it not supposed to be? too many questions for which I didn’t know the answers, and that is exactly what annoyed me of examinations and G’s words.

“is it because I don’t trust you completely, that you are not speaking?” G didn’t respond. I took it as an yes.
“will you tell me what you saved me from, when, why and any other Ws?” G nodded a No.
“do you think I myself will figure it out?” G nodded with his lips curled, as if to say, “probably.”

somewhere  deep inside me (I don’t know how deep), I felt G was correct. I wanted to feel the scene of G pulling me out from an abyss, or was probably feeling the scene. It must have been pretty deep inside me, since it was a hazy scene. Nevertheless, I had a sudden good feeling of belief.

“so if I trust you completely, then we should be good to go, right?” G gave one of the positive nods. I felt at ease, for no explicable reason.
“thanks for the fruitful conversation”, I said. G hadn’t said a word.

“look forward, godspeed.” I thought I remembered G saying, but nope. It was gone.

“Excuse me Sir, aren’t you getting down here today?” the driver lady asked me, and got me out of G’s frame. i realized and got down.

before I got on with the day’s work, I remembered G’s supposedly parting words, a day ago. "
You’ll believe me tomorrow, godspeed!"

i had intentions of listening to some music, not facing it.
I stopped pondering, and got on with the day.. 

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Saturday, March 21, 2009

listen listen

I listen to my mom and dad, and my siblings
I listen to my friends, also the critics ‘n foes;
I listen to every stranger, and all those girls
I listen to noise, sense and always the silence.

animate and inanimate things, I tend to listen
 said and the unsaid emotions, I tend to listen
welcomed and repulsive words, I always listen
everything in this cosmic space, I tend to listen.

the shooting star’s trail, I remember to listen
an insignificant event’s waves, I keep listening;
all the vibes in this world, I’m born to listen
real and the fictitious, to a lot I keep listening.

I listen to the voices that are not here now,
I listen to the vacuum of the vast space now;
I listen to the humming of the time line now
I also listen to the microscopic beings now.

I listen to you, your voice, your soul and truth
I listen to the fears, the wait and footsteps;
I listen to the ripples, the effect and the causes
I’m listening to gazillion of all of your thoughts. 

you won’t believe how much of all I listen,
yet I don’t know, how much of it I can listen;
small to all, I keep listening and listening,
they never stop, let me continue to listen.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

tasteless lines

here is a ridiculous recollection of an even more ridiculously irrelevant fact.. i am becoming good at ridiculous things, with way too much free time..

yesterday, I ate a boca burger with my friend without any toppings or any dressing. I didn’t order any toppings as it surpassed my abysmal intellect to think of it.. I’m switched off sometimes, and later, lazy to fill it with toppings again..

it was pretty bland, actually very bland. more blander (if there is a word) than usual.

we exchanged some lines on the absolute tastelessness, and had a good laugh about it (and about what not). and here they are, re-phrased (since the actual lines could be nauseating, injurious or just plain irritating like the following)..

any taste on the bun was fried out of it
and boca had the innate qualifying skill;
pepper jack was the icing, and a tragedy
tastelessness, thy name was the burger.

all forces came together, for lack of it;
a tasteless conversation, end of circle
it surpassed the fortnight ago one;
yet we are here, eating and laughing.

no taste buds stretched any muscles;
20 minutes of vacuum munching, 
we felt like puppies with chew toys
life’s one big boca for the hypers.

pepper and sauce were the martyrs
we let go of them, they were in vain.
a blander object matter, could not be
yet it passed all rules of edible world.

after two weeks of other cuisines, bored
we’ll come back to the same, boca burger
get it to the same desk, again no toppings,
eat it, whine about it, think of these lines.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

cat class


loathe the beings around them, in nature I guess
not sure but only men are disgusting I suppose, 
purring is reserved to only caress worthy servility;
I’ll bet my every penny, for an ounce of humility.

I scratched their ears with a very very big bill,
nope, no difference, what am I doing I thought;
Naily Transformers’, when messed around with,
 women, masters, almighty, then there is them.

misnomer, we are domesticated by them, the cults
protractable claws, phonetics and classified poo; 
cobby, tabby, tuxedo you name it, with blue eyes 
hunched charm, crooning cute, and all those crap.

‘cat-walk’, ‘wall-walk’, balance and finesse you say
soft paws, stripes, furry, tweaking ears, you say;
of royal, farmer, hunter, pet, companion you say,
nimble, agile, shhhhh silence, what not  you say.

boyfriends, husbands and dogs, are so envious
their share of time and more, big compromise;
they hate, give-in and chase them to vindicate
frustration is all remains, back to square one.

men reciprocated with bad luck tag, on was a war,
women joined forces as an ally, hell with the war,
amidst this, the kings roamed queen like on walls;
who to question, any land was an owned house.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

godspeed 1

6:59 am, Monday. a minute and my alarm goes off with the ‘blind melon – no rain’ guitar theme. With blinking eyes I switch it off, and as always wonder ‘why is there no work day, where you get up and feel you don’t need to sleep anymore?’ I get up, put on my playlist and check my stock values. I don’t see a 1000% gain. I am not the top 10 richest person in the country. That could only mean, I need to get ready and go to work.

morning chores, yoga, little workout, breakfast and I am ambling to the bus stop. It is cold, and 8:13 am. my bus is in 5 minutes. I call my mom as usual, and am talking to her. All through my conversation, the entity keeps staring at me. Let’s call this entity as G. to begin with, I ignore and continue talking. Finally, its 5 minutes to get down and I hang up. The stare still continued. I looked around and I was not mistaken. G was looking at me, unblinking. I was reluctant to ask anything. I continued ignoring.

I got down and thought, ‘what was all that about?’ it didn’t seem right. I had never seen G before in the bus, or anywhere. Thankful, that finally I was away, I started walking towards my office. G was right alongside me. seemed to glide swiftly, though I didn’t know for sure. It was getting ridiculous. I gathered some strength and said, “I think you are following me.” G nodded in disapproval. “what does a nod mean?” “why are you following me? it is freaking me out. What do you want?”

G said, “the forest, the cliff, you and the 2 year old kid sitting. The man with the lamp who led you to the house was smiling. The door had two roses attached to it. Before opening the door, you looked back anticipating someone.”

I was terrified. Those were the only remnant bits and pieces of my yester night’s dreams, I could remember. word to word. I didn’t know what the dreams meant or if they meant anything at all. But I hadn’t shared the dream with anyone. And if I had to, what do I say? But these were the exact words that were left of the dreams.. and I heard the exact words from G.

“You’ll believe me tomorrow, godspeed!” I thought I heard these words from G but nope, G was gone. I swiped my card key and entered my office.

something was not right, but I don’t ponder too much in life. 24 hours may or may not bring something. I couldn’t care less… but I had no idea what was coming. the next morning…

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Friday, March 13, 2009

infinite potential

Potential pours from all the walls
I am in the center of that room;
you held me till a deserved splash
lights go off and out of the room.

there’s sense unlimited to channel
infinite silence to convey intent;
infinite ambitions and yet content
intransigent enough, avoid flannel.

Resolve sufficient, to get through all
Happiness enough, just know to find
Heart galore, to know when to let go
potential itself, to identify your mind.

talent infinite, to keep rising within
affection infinite, to know the essence
humility infinite, to know it’s a faze,
humor infinite, always smiles stay on.

into the room and the lights turn on
remnant potential, you take from me
nothing to offer,  I used all from thee.
infinite potential, for your word to me.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

things happen

there are things which happened to you,
and there are things happening to you;
there would be things you like to happen,
and there are things that will happen.

but there are things that you made happen
and are things happening because of you;
and things that you’ll work to make happen
and things that you’ll surely make happen.

there are things that didn’t happen to you,
and things that aren’t happening for you;
there will be things you won’t like to happen;
and things that you’ll ensure won’t happen.

there are many things that could happen to you
and many things which couldn’t happen to you
these may or may not be things you make happen
unlikely things that you don’t want to make happen.

things that happened to you, make things happening for you
things that didn’t happen, will make things happen to you
things that are happening will tell you why things happen
and i realized from my friend, all things happen for FOOD!

FOOD, FOOD, FOOD, FOOD, FOOD, FOOD AND MORE FOOD!

Sunday, March 01, 2009

let the way be

when its normal, you’ll hate me
i’ll play ‘round, coz that’ll suit me
if you’re lucky, you won’t curse me
I know all this, not bothers me.

don’t change me.
don’t change me.

I’ll take you, as you want me
It’s not easy, but I’ll still agree
that being said,  just leave me
I’ll come ‘round, need to hug me.

don’t change me.
don’t change me.

If it’s lovely, you feel like holding
It’ll break you, now or then see
nothing sticks on, past us they’ll be
though you need me, I’ll as be.

don’t change me.
don’t change me.

I know I can, never hold on
outer hands for, my believing
I need my own, smaller livings
That’s why routine, you’ll see me.

don’t change me.
don’t change me.

I have tried so, not works for me
you were happy, why this feeling
sudden changing, want it from me
I was as me, I will always, just be me.

don’t change me.
don’t change me.

i'm doubting, all my time being
how you are, you get me thinking, 
need to get through, its confusing, 
get me going, get me going.

don't change me.
don't change me.

life’s a circle, it makes me happy,
that’s a feeling, ought to change me
still I come back, to my same things
I know all this, makes me happy.

don’t change me.
don’t change me..